Losing the will & ability to THINK

That's what I want to believe.
After graduation studio where I was so graciously up until 4 am doing my Guerrilla Cloud Project seems so long ago. It almost feels like a distant past that I never knew. I can no longer fathom what it was like to be passionate about something anymore. It's like my heart have stopped and I just DO things without thinking.

Now I am petrified that I will lose my brain that I have nurtured and lose the ability to think, make an opinion or judgement. Losing the 'criticality' that I always thought as an individual should be a value held high.

I am only hoping that this is a phase. Althought I am throughly enjoying Melbourne I am a person in passing and my decision of how I would spend my period of life here has not been changed. (I don't think it ever will.)This time next year I will no longer be in the country and most of yous would know that it is highly likely for me to get out of here as my rent finishes, in March.

To a spontaneous person like it me I find lack of inspiration as something quite dangerous. You may lose me.

Staff Review

hmm.. only time will deliver me from this evil.

I can barely eat.. I will be shitting my self until 4. saying 'shit,shit shit' under my breath.


They are going to jab gunpowder up my ass.. Fire in the hole!! I honestly feel like spewing, and I still have 2 hours to wait, added to this misery is my team losing slabs in files. shite.

Oh.. today is a wonderful day. *insert sarcasm here*

death of a succulent

Some would remember the two small succulents that lives in my apartment.

One of it really really died. I am caught in grief.

Now I should get another pot plant. Edward looks way too lonely spending the whole day alone. I think I am becoming a recluse. help!

Coffee Break

Coffee break just after lunch is a critical everyday event.

It is when you get out of the office and perhaps act like students with like-minded workmates. Gossips rife, and searching for the newly found hotness in amongst the seemingly bland office population is a comic relief from the tight situation which I am in. ( I am basically squashed between two seperate teams and it's all just becoming all too complicated.)
Especially finding out today the one of my close workmates are bound to leave the Joint Venture office next week is yet another bad news. (losing another lunch mate...)

What I find really funny about an office environment is how restrained everyone is. It sometimes feels as if I am the only one smiling at work. Below is a quote from my workmate, back when I was working at the head office.

"Stop smiling Grace you're at work."

Cramped office

I sit at a place that is a meeting point ( they actually don't quite meet )of two desk edges. Hence I have a massive crack running down my desk. I am not hogging a large space, on the contrary I am making use of left over periphery spaces forced out from my neighbours on either side of me.

Now the tricky thing is where do you draw the line? or do you draw the line at all? When does one give and when does one push it back? Is it really a problem when you come into work in the morning and have to scavenge through your neighbour's B1 drawing sheets to rediscover your mouse and headphones?

The epitome of this spatial disaster really hits when I drive my wheeled chair over headphone wires and folders stacked next to the bin starts falling into it.

I might as well sit with my Hard drive between my knees...

" Black as the devil

hot as hell

pure as an angel

sweet as love."

-Talleyrand

Now, if that was a description of a perfect cup of coffee, and there is a serious compromise in my office.

The biggest culprit being the cafe down stairs which "sells" magazines and newspapers (hence a kindly worded sign infront of them saying 'don't take it unless you're going to buy it.').

Love and Angels aside their coffee taste and smells like the devil, and the temperature of their milk somehow lacks the qualities of hell. (Sometimes the luke warm milk is accompanied by some funky smell.) To top this the take away plastic caps somehow malfunctions every morning and I end up with a lavish pattern of latte on my top. ( those who have seen it knows this.)

Perhaps a good cup of coffee is too much to ask at $2.50.

Addiction...

Dispite my dislike for sweet alcohol I am fightng a losing battle with the mix of Mascato + " in-season" strawberries. Damned those sweet juicy strawberries and ever so ligthly effervescent Mascato!

...... now all I need is cream. * watching Wimbledon.* ( No dirty imaginations please.)